“How is your relationship with your father?”
When one of our male client advocates meets with a new father at Prestonwood Pregnancy Center, they ask this question, as it helps us better understand the new father’s experience with parenting. For some, it calls to mind precious memories of their father and brings a smile to their face. For others, it is a difficult question that brings unpleasant memories to the surface. New dads, how will your children remember you? What kind of father do you want to be? What legacy will you leave?
With a new baby on the way, you’re probably feeling a little bit of pressure because you recognize the need for great fathers. And so here you are…standing on the razor-sharp edge between your experience with your own father and your unwritten future with your new baby. You are embarking on a journey that will hopefully have a positive impact on your growing family now—and for generations to come.
As you consider the fathering task, you might be feeling some butterflies of uncertainty. That is normal. So our goal at the center isn’t to eliminate the butterflies but help them fly in formation. We want to help reduce any pressure you may be feeling about fatherhood by setting reasonable goals you can work toward. With some mindful effort, you can grow into the loving father your children deserve.
Here are a few recommended areas of focus:
- Dads must be active and engaged in their partner’s pregnancy.
- Dads must be proactive thinkers so they can anticipate and prepare for the next stage in their child’s life.
- Dads must strive to make life better for their children.
- Dads must provide a blessing to their children.
You want your children to know they are loved and immeasurably valuable to you. Taking the necessary steps to show them how much they mean to you is how you give them a blessing. It’s not about providing them with a certain thing (like an heirloom). Rather, it’s helping your children know their importance within your heart. Frequently tell your children you love them and let them see you loving and respecting their mom.
No matter what, you will leave a legacy, so now is the time to start building a great one. What do you know about your great-grandfather? Do you even know his name? What will your great-grandchildren know about you? Perhaps your relationship with your own father wasn’t a positive one and you wish to improve the generational fathering legacy in your family. Or maybe your relationship with your father was excellent, and he set the bar very high. Now you’re tasked with continuing his wonderful legacy of fatherhood.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, be encouraged and believe that you are the right man for the job. Be a legacy builder! And know that the staff and volunteers at Prestonwood Pregnancy Center are in your corner and ready to help you however we can.