What If My Boyfriend Wants Me to Have an Abortion? 

Finding out you’re pregnant can bring up a lot of emotions. You might feel surprised, scared, uncertain, or even happy. But when your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion and you aren’t sure what you want, the situation can become even more difficult. 

Maybe he says you’re not ready to be parents. Maybe he’s worried about money, school, or what your families will think. Or perhaps he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a baby and expects you to agree. 

Whatever your circumstances, it’s important to know that you can take time to ask questions, understand your options, and talk with someone who will listen to your concerns. 

What If We Don’t Agree About the Pregnancy? 

It’s possible for two people to care about each other and still have very different feelings about an unexpected pregnancy. 

Your boyfriend might be afraid of becoming a father. He may worry about supporting a child, changing his plans, or telling his family. Those concerns can be real, even if you see the situation differently. 

However, his feelings don’t have to determine what you decide. 

You may feel unsure about continuing the pregnancy, too. Or you may want to explore parenting or adoption while he believes abortion is the only realistic option. You don’t have to resolve every disagreement immediately. 

Try to separate the concerns you’re facing from the decision itself. For example, if your boyfriend says you can’t afford a baby, that raises practical questions about housing, childcare, work, and financial support. Those questions deserve answers rather than assumptions about what is possible. 

You can acknowledge his concerns while still giving yourself room to consider your own. 

How Can I Talk to My Boyfriend About My Pregnancy? 

If you feel safe doing so, an honest conversation may help you understand each other’s concerns. 

You could begin by asking what worries him most. Is he concerned about money? Does he think a baby will change your relationship? Is he afraid of telling his parents? 

Listening doesn’t mean you have to agree with him. It simply helps you understand what’s behind his reaction. 

You can also explain what you’re feeling. You might say: 

• “I know this wasn’t what we expected, but I need time to think.” 

• “I’m scared, too. Can we talk about our options without making a decision today?” 

• “I want to understand what parenting, adoption, and abortion would mean for me before deciding.” 

Pay attention to how he responds. A difficult conversation doesn’t have to be perfect, but you should be able to express your concerns without threats, intimidation, or fear. 

If you are worried that he could become violent or prevent you from getting medical care, prioritize your safety and seek help from a trusted person or domestic violence resource. 

What If He Says He’ll Leave Me? 

One of the most painful possibilities is losing your relationship. 

If your boyfriend says he will leave unless you have an abortion, you may feel as though you’re choosing between your relationship and your pregnancy. You might worry about raising a child alone, facing your family without his support, or losing the future you imagined together. 

Those fears deserve to be taken seriously. 

But a decision made because you’re afraid someone will leave you may not reflect what you would choose if you had space to think. 

You cannot control whether your boyfriend stays in the relationship. You can, however, seek accurate information and support so that your decision isn’t based solely on his ultimatum. 

You also don’t have to figure out every detail of your future right now. Start by identifying the questions you need answered and the people who can help you explore them. 

What Are My Options if My Boyfriend Doesn’t Support Me? 

If you are pregnant and your boyfriend isn’t supportive, you still have options to explore. 

Parenting: You can learn about the practical realities of raising a child, including financial assistance, childcare, housing, and support from community organizations. 

Adoption: If you are considering adoption, you can learn about different arrangements and the process of making an adoption plan. You can ask questions without committing to this option. 

Abortion: You can seek accurate medical information about abortion procedures or medication, including potential risks and expected symptoms. 

You deserve clear information about each option. You also deserve the opportunity to ask questions privately and consider how each possibility fits your circumstances. 

You Don’t Have to Figure Everything Out Alone 

If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion and you’re unsure what to do, consider talking with someone outside the relationship who can help you sort through your questions. 

At Prestonwood Pregnancy Center, women can access free pregnancy testing, ultrasounds when appropriate, pregnancy options counseling, and information about practical support. An appointment gives you an opportunity to talk about your circumstances and ask questions without having to make every decision at once. 

You can also discuss your concerns about your relationship, your family’s reaction, and what support might be available in your situation. 

Need help right now? You don’t have to have all the answers before reaching out. 

Schedule a free, confidential appointment with Prestonwood Pregnancy Center at prestonwoodpregnancy.org/appointment. Our Dallas-area centers serve women in Dallas, Richardson, and Fort Worth.