My Boyfriend Wants Me to Have an Abortion. Now What?
Finding out you’re pregnant can bring up a lot of questions, but it can become even more overwhelming if your boyfriend or partner reacts differently than you hoped.
Maybe he immediately said he isn’t ready to be a dad.
Maybe he’s worried about money, school, or your future together.
Maybe he’s encouraging, or even insisting, that abortion is the best option.
Or maybe you’re feeling caught between what he wants and what you think you want.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many women face pressure from a partner after an unexpected pregnancy. While every relationship is different, it’s important to remember that you deserve the time and space to understand your own thoughts, feelings, and options.
It’s Okay to Slow Down
When emotions are high, it can feel like a decision has to be made immediately.
You may be hearing things like:
- “We can’t afford a baby.”
- “This isn’t the right time.”
- “This will ruin our plans.”
- “We’ll try again someday.”
Even if those concerns are real, it’s okay to take a step back and gather information before making any decision.
Giving yourself time doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the situation—it means you’re making room to think clearly.
Try to Understand What’s Behind His Reaction
Sometimes a partner’s first response comes from fear rather than certainty.
He may be worried about:
- Finances
- Providing for a family
- Finishing school
- Career goals
- What others will think
- Feeling unprepared to become a father
Understanding what’s driving his reaction can help you have a more productive conversation. At the same time, it’s important to recognize the difference between expressing concerns and trying to control your decision.
Healthy Support Doesn’t Require Pressure
It’s normal for couples to disagree or process an unexpected pregnancy differently.
However, healthy support allows room for conversation, questions, and honesty.
If you feel like you’re being pressured, threatened, manipulated, or afraid to express how you really feel, it’s okay to seek support from someone outside the relationship.
You deserve to make decisions in an environment where you feel heard and respected.
Talk to Someone Safe
When emotions are running high, it helps to talk with someone who isn’t personally involved.
A trusted friend, family member, mentor, counselor, or client advocate can provide a listening ear and help you think through your situation.
At Prestonwood Pregnancy Center, our client advocates offer free, confidential appointments where you can ask questions, share your concerns, and receive information about your pregnancy and your options. Our goal isn’t to pressure you—it’s to help you make an informed decision.
Gather the Medical Information You Need
Before making any pregnancy decision, it’s important to understand your pregnancy.
A medical-grade pregnancy test and an ultrasound can provide valuable information, including:
- Whether the pregnancy is developing in the uterus
- Approximately how far along you are
- Whether the pregnancy appears viable
Knowing these details can help you make informed decisions about your next steps.
Prestonwood Pregnancy Center provides free pregnancy tests and free limited ultrasounds for qualifying clients in a confidential, caring environment.
If He Wants to Be Involved, That’s Okay Too
Not every partner who initially reacts with fear stays in that place.
Sometimes, having accurate information and the opportunity to ask questions changes the conversation.
If your boyfriend wants to attend an appointment with you, many pregnancy centers—including Prestonwood Pregnancy Center—welcome partners to participate when you feel comfortable. We also offer Fatherhood services that provide mentoring, practical guidance, and support for men who are navigating an unexpected pregnancy alongside their partner.
You Matter
When everyone around you has an opinion, it’s easy to lose sight of your own voice.
Take time to ask yourself:
- What questions do I still have?
- Do I have all the information I need?
- Am I making this decision because it’s what I truly want—or because I feel pressured?
- Who can help me think through this without judgment?
Take advantage of the opportunity to consider these questions in a safe, supportive environment.
You Don’t Have to Face This Alone
If your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion and you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you don’t have to navigate these conversations by yourself.
Whether you come alone or with your partner, you’ll find people who are ready to listen, offer practical support, and help you take the next step with confidence.